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Soon enough, I started buying magazines. Not really for reading, more for the free make-up. I remember I used to buy like 6 different magazines - Sugar, Mizz, Top Of The Pops, Smash Hits, Bliss and Shout. I rarely missed an issue. Now that I look back, it would've been waaay cheaper for me to just buy proper make-up!
I had this big box where I would store all my magazine make-up, and it was filled to the brim. At this point I was around 8 or 9, and obviously I didn't wear a full face of make-up but I would rock a bit of lipgloss, eyeshadow and mascara once in a while. I just loved dressing up, and to me make-up was an extension of that.
I guess when I started wearing a full face was probably in Year 7, so I would've been 11 at the time. A girl in one of my classes said that I'd look better with make-up on (in a nice way) - so I took her advice and started wearing some. I went to my Mum and she gladly said that she'd share her make-up with me. Now if you haven't realised - I'm very pale. So pale that still to this day, I struggle finding a foundation that will match my skin tone. My Mum, on the other hand, has very tanned olive skin. You can see where I'm going with this. I guess it wasn't too bad as it was a tinted moisturiser rather than a foundation, but instead of using powder to set it, I used bronzer. Shimmery bronzer. My Mum knew absolutely nothing (and still doesn't - I love you Mum!) about make-up so her 'tips' were pretty unhelpful. Despite the super-tangoed image you have of me in your head - it surprisingly didn't look too horrific. I'm not saying it was a good look by any means - but it wasn't so bad either.
At this point I started experimenting more with make-up - glittery liquid eyeliners, turquoise eyeshadow etc. Very 'retro-disco' if you will. To be honest I'm kinda proud that my younger self actually had the balls to wear hot pink glitter eyeliner - cause I'm not too sure if I'd be able to own the look so much now...
So now I'm around the age of 13 and I've become obsessed with Avon. And before you say anything - they didn't used to test on animals but yes, they do now. Anyways, my Mum would bring the catalogue home from work as her assistant was an Avon representative. I used to get that feeling like when I was younger and my Mum would hand me the Argos catalogue and say "Circle what you would like Father Christmas to get you and I can send it to him.". It really did feel like Christmas every time. Even more so when the products actually came! I would spend around £30 each time on various different bits and pieces because it gave me this ecstatic buzz when I opened the little white bag to see what I'd ordered. Usually I had forgotten so it was always a nice little surprise.
Mum would always tut whenever I bought make-up - and still does to this day. I try to constantly remind her that I could be like most other young adults and instead of spending my money on eyeshadows and lipsticks, I could be spending it on drugs, alcohol, and admission into sleazy nightclubs. Also known as the complete opposite of me. She should count her blessings that I'm an angelic little princess with a penchant for eyeshadow palettes! It could be worse, Mother.
It's gotten to the stage where I'm asking myself on a daily basis: 'Is my love for make-up getting out of control?'. Heart says no. Head says yes. Despite me rolling my eyes over the opinion of my conscience - I know it's becoming - or has the potential of becoming - an addiction if I'm not careful. Addiction. It feels weird writing that word. Something I've always associated with alcohol, nicotine, and not-so-legal narcotics. Make-up 'addiction' seems extremely mild in comparison.
To be perfectly honest, I can't see myself going down the 'I will sell one of my Dad's kidneys for an Urban Decay eyeshadow palette.' road. Not yet, anyway. Despite my almost blasé attitude on the matter, I know that I need to be careful. I've always been good with my money. Very good, in fact. So good that I have the ability to turn a few measly £s into designer accessories and top-of-the-range techno gadgets. I honestly have no idea how I do it - I guess I'm just good at saving money for the things I really want. And maybe make-up just happens to be one of those things. I'm trying to get my heart to synchronise with my brain like it does any time make-up is not involved. Maybe one day I'll have the strength to ignore the countless e-mails from Illamasqua telling me they have a sale on, or I'll be able to walk through the Beauty Department in Debenhams without batting a perfectly cut-creased-and-cat-eyed eyelid. Or maybe, just maybe, I will find it deep within myself to throw away *gasp* those Boots vouchers offering 200 points when I spend £20 or more. I did say maybe...
Have you got your make-up obsession under control, or is it running wild like mine?
"There are barbarians who seize this dog, who so prodigiously surpasses man in friendship, and nail him down to a table, and dissect him alive to show you the mezaraic veins. You discover in him all the same organs of feeling as in yourself. Answer me, Machinist, has Nature really arranged all the springs of feeling in this animal to the end that he might not feel? Has he nerves that he may be incapable of suffering?" - Voltaire
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